During camp last, one of the very first life issues God highlighted was that I had a lot of hurt and emotional scars. I can only side eye that, because, well, God knows me better than I know myself, right? I've been hurt by people closest to me--I mean, who hasn't? Thats one of the saddest facts of humanity, the closer you are to a person, the more hurt you'd feel--the amount of love you give is (often) proportionate to the amount of hurt you feel...
Digressing, emotional scars and hurts were remembered. A good portion was prayed over, released forgiveness for, and then prayed life into. For some, I actually had to contact the person(s) and release forgiveness--again, proportionate amount of hurt, it was a boatload.
I just needed to remember this example of personal growth over the summer because I am feeling all these yucky feelings--excuse the lack of a better term. I'm hurt by the circumstances, and disappointed in myself. I feel like I've failed at life (already? I mean, I just graduated...), and that I've been hoodwinked.
They are lies of the enemy.
Taking a cue from my favorite book in the Bible--James--I will combat these feelings with the Truth. I am content in this trial because its building perseverance (James 1:2, 9, 12 ). I am taking pride in my humble position, because in my lack, God overflows with all things I do not have. I am called to persevere because God has work for me to do.
Pastor Glenn Garland said something that I've been ruminating lately. My present situation may be fact--my current joblessness is likened to water turning into ice, but the TRUTH is that I am a conqueror and a success likened to aberrations of nature (miracles), like Jesus walking on water.
My life is a miracle. This is my testimony. I will triumph because of the Blood Christ shed on the cross, and my testimony (Revelations 12:11). (Thank you Lord for such a beautiful thing!) The life in me is not mine, it is Christ's, therefore I have hope, and a bright future (recall Jeremiah 29:11).
This is not the end.
This is how to deal with disappointments, despondency, and hurt life metes out. As my father likes to quote: Hebrews 12:2, "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
This is Not the End by Gungor
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United
Oceans Will Part by Hillsong