Today I didn't get to write much for my story, all about ten words actually. However, I did enjoy talking with friends about the plot and characters. I also had a great time at my business meeting.
The day started early when my business partners and I got ready for the meeting. It was great having to set up and meet Shaklee people. One of our scientists, Dr. Sonhee Park, conducted a talk about the scientific base of our products. I loved the energy and knowledge she brought from knowing the science behind the products.
After the meeting, we had a quick respite, then I went to talk to my dear friend. She and I were around Harvard Sq. walking from small eatery to another. We talked about current events and other concerns. Then we talked about the NaNoWriMo project.
I gave her privy to the plot and characters. Especially about the current scene that I am writing. I've got the whole scene in mind, but since I'm focused on my business/work this weekend I can't give it much time and thoughtful execution.
Although the caveat is that I'm using up precious "quantity" time for the quality of this scene. I raised this concern to my friend and together we figured that this scene is special and needs attention, and the others can be written in haste because it's not as clear.
Basically, this scene is the lynchpin for the future conflicts--yes, it is a BIG DEAL.
I just received my "No Plot? No Problem" book by Chris Baty, the founder of NaNoWriMo. Thank you, Amazon Prime. I'm quite pleased with what I've read thus far.
He talkes about the excitement that happens at the onset of the endeavor. Then the waning of the excitement, and by the last week it's an arduous endeavor. Thankfully, the novel doesn't have to be 100% done by means of plot or characterization, but rather, one can celebrate accomplishing at 50,000 words.
The way I've set it up is a series of vignettes, so each character contributes to the whole narrative. There will be plot holes, definitely, as vignettes don't warrant a continuous time line. But who knows?
The key here is to get to 50,000 words, and hopefully have a story worth telling. Then the revisions start. Here is where all the questions on plot, characterization, and over all style has to be settled.
I remember attempting all this before and I would waste time because I needed a certain detail to be right, correct, or real. However, Chris writes in his book that this whole exercise--marathon--is to get as much on paper/written, it's quantity over quality. Quality takes time, and that can happen after the month is over.
Here's to the next few days in mentally preparing for the challenge!
Amazon Prime is lovely. Even though I have two types of DVD's for Pride & Prejudice (starring Keira), P&P is on Amazon Prime Video. I've been rewatching it the last few days.
However, today I am watching Love & Friendship, based on Jane Austen's short story "Lady Susan". It's made by Amazon Productions -- Amazon has their own production company?! -- and it's quite delightful. It stars Kate Beckinsale as Lady Susan.
This spurred me to go on Amazon and wishlist a lot of regency era books--I do love period pieces! Finding something to read, especially when one enjoys the topic feeds inspiration. I love to read and write. It is a great comfort to just dive into another universe.
NaNoWriMo is fast approaching. I am not sure if I'll be participating, although I am in the best position to write this year than any other year before! Quite invigorating--the process of creating.
I have a funny relationship with social media. I like to study it. I also like to observe how people interact with it. I believe it can do a great service to humanity, and alternatively, it can do irreparable harm.
I can go on about that, but I just wanted to talk about my "Instagram Crush". Back when I was a teen, we had--dare I say "legitimate"--celebrity crushes. James Franco, Zac Effron, and Hayden Christensen. Social media has blurred the lines of "fame", wherein we all have platforms and the efficacy of exposing oneself leads to a stronger viewership.
It doesn't hurt to be pretty. (Or undeniably creative/talented).
Anyway, my Instagram crush. Funny story actually. I was looking through the "discover" section on the mobile app. I saw this lovely painting. It truly resonated with me and I tapped to view it. The secondary realization was that the artist was good looking. However, when I finally got into the album/page, I was floored.
This dude was super easy on the eyes (to say the least). He was also creative. Something I'm always drawn to. Further, the caption on his artwork spoke volumes about his character.
I hit the "follow" button so fast. LOL
I just wanted to end on this note: I was checking my feed one day and I saw one of his (art) pieces. It was a color pencil drawing of an anatomically correct heart in a person's hand. I believe it was posted on Valentines day. His caption was equally as interesting. I was so awed by the piece I showed it to my mom.
My mother isn't really into art but she appreciates it. When she viewed the piece she was in raptures. It captivated her so much that the very next day she asked to see it again and we had a discussion about it. It's also pertinent to say that she's a nurse and worked in open-heart surgery for years. Haha.
Kudos, sir, for what you did for my mom. Your art inspired a discussion. ❤️
Being Filipino, I always knew someone who was abroad. Growing up and having family come to visit with souvenirs was a treat. They would have plenty of stories about distant lands and different cultures.
In addition, I was raised around foreigners. In Makati, Philippines, I saw Westerners and Asians, since it was the city center of the country's capital. Also, since my dad was an Evangelist/pastor, he had support from missionaries, namely, South Korean ministries/missionaries.
When I came to the US, we lived in a very diverse neighborhood, and the schools I attended reflected the population. It was great growing up with all these influences, i count myself very blessed.
But really, it was my grandfather who was a sailor. He sailed all over the world with his crew at a time where most societies were still segregated. He would tell stories about African, European, and Asian port cities and their misadventures.
My dad, too travels often. Even at a young age, I knew he would go to the provinces in the Philippines. And as I was growing up in the US, he would go back to the Philippines every year for a month or so at a time.
When I was sixteen, he began traveling to Europe for extended stays, first for a few months at a time, then up to six months. His travels always brought home great news about the churches in Europe, and the great things God was doing there.
Because of the internet, I had (and obviously still have) the privilage of meeting interesting people from all over the world. That's how I got to meet my friends in Dubai and South Korea. It's fantastic!
Traveling to the Philippines in 2008, and then to 11 countries in Europe 2009, really solidified that lifestyle. It helped me grow and expand my philosophies. It also gave me a heart for overseas workers. But more on this topic another time.
Travel just runs in my blood. I loved cultures, art, food, and people. I love stories. I want to amass stories for my children and grandchildren because I know the world will be a different place then.
The title is appropriate, seeing that today the Selena MAC (cosmetics) campaign began. Already sold out, and admittedly, I am quite nervous that I won't get the lipstick of that name. Sigh. More on makeup in another post.
I wanted to talk about the dream I had last night. I woke up with a start, feeling awful. I was mad and sad all the same time.
The setting of the dream was at Camp (Ashland, VA). In the dream, it seemed like I lived there, but I was moving out that day. Some guy was helping me pack up and get all my stuff sorted, but after my possessions were in the van, I went around to say goodbye. He was following me diligently as I said my farewells. However, I was looking for a person.
This person I am looking for, "C", is someone I know. In real life, our general relationship is hard to describe. It's a case of misunderstandings, but great rapport, mutual affection--there's a lot of history and disappointments on both ends. I acknowledge it's not the best.
Anyway, in the dream, I was seeking "C" out to say goodbye. I was searching all over Camp, and in the last possible moment, right before I absolutely had to leave, I see him. From across the room, I ran toward him to give him an embrace. I hugged him tight, and then let go. He then told me to run to the van.
The guy who had diligently followed and helped me pack was called elsewhere as I opened the door to the passenger van taking me to the airport. The van was full of people who I was close to and strangers along for the ride to the airport. I called out the people I wasn't close to, asking them to leave the van if they had other motives in being there--namely, they wanted to join in the pre-flight meal we customarily have as a family (yes, this is a real life thing we do almost every time someone leaves!).
As the van pulls out of Camp, I call "C" telling him, "It's not too late to join us to go to the airport. There's space [in the van]." He replied, "I'm sorry, I'd like to but can't. I'm sorry timings never work out..."
I am distraught, and I wake up from my dream.
I woke up feeling angry with my(dream)self for not noticing the devotion of the other gentleman--the one who helped me pack and who diligently stood by my side saying good bye. Yet, I was also sad that I had spent so much time looking to and for someone who didn't feel I was worth the same amount of energy.
Whether this is a true representation (or devolution) of my relationship with "C", I'm not sure. But surely, I think I can believe that timing has, and will probably never be, right. How sad I am about this I'm not entirely sure.
I am a firm believer of letting negativity go. Yet, grey areas exist and "C" is there. Complicated enough to hurt, yet positive enough to inspire.
Background: I was listening to Eyes, Nose, Lips (Feat. Tablo) by Taeyang as I was doing errands yesterday and I just had to write this down. But then I remembered The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves. I've been outlining my plot for NaNoWrimo and I think I'll expand on this lovely thing. LOVE IT. The Adventure
The passengers quickly fill the plane, and she waits. Looking out the window, her mind wonders when she first decided to go on this grand adventure. Back then, she was still unsure of herself or of her future. If that certain boy had asked her to stay, she would have.
She is grateful he didn't.
As the plane taxies, and then lifts off, the skyline of her home town comes to view. Soon, she'll be in her home--across the land and sea--where whispers of childish dreams dissipate because life turned out to be so much better.
Her new home where she settled after a long adventure is rooted in the arms of a man who didn't ask her to stay, but instead came along for the adventure. - Fin - Eyes Nose Lips (Feat. Tablo) by Taeyang
The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves
Addendum: (Harvard event and job hunting) So, the Harvard event was intimidating because I got there late and everyone else was in their groups. I felt that there were more grad students than college students, as well. Huh. Anyway, I got to walk around and chat with some people, which was good. I didn't need a date so much as to be a buffer, but to help ease the vibe of the room. I didn't like the room itself. It was dark and gothic looking, I'm sure if there were less people, and another theme, it would have been lovely. I stayed 30 minutes and left. Walked around 5th ave and went to Sunrise Mart just for kicks. The employees were looking at me weird. Shrug. There was a cute Hapa... ^_^ Digressing. I thank the event for the wine, it was good--better than the one served at the gala I went to on campus last May. I'm disappointed that there was only light fare... maybe it was because I was late that I missed the canapés? But the room really gave me the creeps. I liked the clubhouse. Very swanky. I'll sign up for membership soon! Thank God for the opportunities--any and all! I am so blessed. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23:6) I miss my classmates and friends who are still on campus. I am thankful for the help I get, and the support. Oh! In total yesterday I sent out 8 applications for 14 jobs in all. Goodness. I'm looking for more opportunities today as well. But errands first. Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:33) My paraphrase: "seek God, live blamelessly in the sight of others for His glory, and all else will follow." Today, I had a late start--did laundry late last night with my sister, and came back home at 4 and slept about 5 am!-- but I am filled with so much joy.
Background: I haven't been sleeping well, and it's my first night in a little while having dreams. However, I dreamt about saying my goodbyes. Melancholic prose commence!
So Stay with Me
It's difficult leaving home. Especially, leaving all the things you've known. But you're determined to make this change. You've wanted to carve out a life of your own. Not because you're stifled, but because you've responded to the call of adventure.
As you pack the remnants of life here, in the space you've called your own, in a carry-on--you'd shipped the essentials before hand, and given all the other things away--you look at sparseness within the case. You've chosen to live as a nomad, at least for now...and the foreseeable future. There's a mixture of delight and dread. You're okay with this.
Everyone you know will be settled down by the time you return--that is, if you do. They'd have made roots, and you, you'll be going with the flow; you'd get your direction from the wind. And though you know people will judge you for the so-called lack of your direction, that's the farthest from the truth. You know that you have direction, and it just so happens that it's to travel. You know the details will fill in themselves. You're okay with this.
So, as you hug your loved ones goodbye, you reminisce and already grow nostalgic for home. Because home is not a place, its the people. You can take comfort that you'd meet new people to call home. You're okay with this.
Your loved ones know you enough to let you go, and you love them all the more. You leave a piece of your heart with them, and in turn you take a piece of their heart with you. It doesn't hurt at all, because you don't think about the exchange as something sad. Instead, you're happy because they're a part of you forever. It is a privilege. You're okay with this.
You want your future so bad. You've grabbed it greedily, and if that means saying goodbye, that's okay. You're not just okay, you've finally bloomed.
There's Nothing Like You and I
She laughs, and you chuckle at the memories she's recounted. To be quite honest, you don't remember half of it, and some part of you is sad because of this. The coffee date continues, but something bubbles inside you can't place a finger on.
It isn't until days later, as you're out on your run, does it slam your gut. It was a goodbye, and you realized too late. Now, all you'll have are the half-remembered memories...
-Fin-
There's Nothing Like You and I by The Perishers
and bonus:
Thoughts in TL;DR:
Titles of the prose is juxtapose. Plethora of emotions on my part, but my mind is clear. I've got a future, and I realize that sometimes it means that not everyone I've known will be part of it. It's sad, but I'm okay with this. The worst place is to be overstaying your welcome, especially when it's in someone's life. I can't afford to develop emotional crutches.
Tangential: Lies by Evanescence, I didn't appreciate it as much before as I do now. Indeed there are a lot of lies we believe about ourselves which make us insecure. #liesItellmyself can be so true.
The title of this post, "Fiercest Fables" actually comes from a story a friend of mine wrote (who got it from a Bon Iver song, I don't know which one). It has to do with the lies we tell ourselves. There are just some things we believe we have control over, or mastered, but in truth, we've sorely underestimated its grip or ramification.
My mother, in a much more verbose manner, once told me a story about this village woman. The lesson of the story was "covering your head, but leaving your butt exposed". We make certain provisions for somethings, yet completely miss the glaring warnings for other things, and lo-and-behold, we are in danger.
Sometimes its more telling of our nature by what we do for the sake or in the face of curiosity, than what we seemingly constantly (regimentally/characteristically) do.
Where am I going with this?
Addiction.
I am sure if I am truly honest with myself, I can acknowledge that somewhere or at some time, I've picked up something, an interest, a hobby or habit that grew into something that got married into my personality and character. All are destructive in the face of fidelity to a righteous and jealous God.
Again, all addictions [idols, gods, propensities] are destructive [to self] in the face of fidelity to a righteous and jealous God.
