Amazon Prime is lovely. Even though I have two types of DVD's for Pride & Prejudice (starring Keira), P&P is on Amazon Prime Video. I've been rewatching it the last few days.
However, today I am watching Love & Friendship, based on Jane Austen's short story "Lady Susan". It's made by Amazon Productions -- Amazon has their own production company?! -- and it's quite delightful. It stars Kate Beckinsale as Lady Susan.
This spurred me to go on Amazon and wishlist a lot of regency era books--I do love period pieces! Finding something to read, especially when one enjoys the topic feeds inspiration. I love to read and write. It is a great comfort to just dive into another universe.
NaNoWriMo is fast approaching. I am not sure if I'll be participating, although I am in the best position to write this year than any other year before! Quite invigorating--the process of creating.
Background: I was listening to Eyes, Nose, Lips (Feat. Tablo) by Taeyang as I was doing errands yesterday and I just had to write this down. But then I remembered The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves. I've been outlining my plot for NaNoWrimo and I think I'll expand on this lovely thing. LOVE IT. The Adventure
The passengers quickly fill the plane, and she waits. Looking out the window, her mind wonders when she first decided to go on this grand adventure. Back then, she was still unsure of herself or of her future. If that certain boy had asked her to stay, she would have.
She is grateful he didn't.
As the plane taxies, and then lifts off, the skyline of her home town comes to view. Soon, she'll be in her home--across the land and sea--where whispers of childish dreams dissipate because life turned out to be so much better.
Her new home where she settled after a long adventure is rooted in the arms of a man who didn't ask her to stay, but instead came along for the adventure. - Fin - Eyes Nose Lips (Feat. Tablo) by Taeyang
The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves
Addendum: (Harvard event and job hunting) So, the Harvard event was intimidating because I got there late and everyone else was in their groups. I felt that there were more grad students than college students, as well. Huh. Anyway, I got to walk around and chat with some people, which was good. I didn't need a date so much as to be a buffer, but to help ease the vibe of the room. I didn't like the room itself. It was dark and gothic looking, I'm sure if there were less people, and another theme, it would have been lovely. I stayed 30 minutes and left. Walked around 5th ave and went to Sunrise Mart just for kicks. The employees were looking at me weird. Shrug. There was a cute Hapa... ^_^ Digressing. I thank the event for the wine, it was good--better than the one served at the gala I went to on campus last May. I'm disappointed that there was only light fare... maybe it was because I was late that I missed the canapés? But the room really gave me the creeps. I liked the clubhouse. Very swanky. I'll sign up for membership soon! Thank God for the opportunities--any and all! I am so blessed. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23:6) I miss my classmates and friends who are still on campus. I am thankful for the help I get, and the support. Oh! In total yesterday I sent out 8 applications for 14 jobs in all. Goodness. I'm looking for more opportunities today as well. But errands first. Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:33) My paraphrase: "seek God, live blamelessly in the sight of others for His glory, and all else will follow." Today, I had a late start--did laundry late last night with my sister, and came back home at 4 and slept about 5 am!-- but I am filled with so much joy.
Background: I haven't been sleeping well, and it's my first night in a little while having dreams. However, I dreamt about saying my goodbyes. Melancholic prose commence!
So Stay with Me
It's difficult leaving home. Especially, leaving all the things you've known. But you're determined to make this change. You've wanted to carve out a life of your own. Not because you're stifled, but because you've responded to the call of adventure.
As you pack the remnants of life here, in the space you've called your own, in a carry-on--you'd shipped the essentials before hand, and given all the other things away--you look at sparseness within the case. You've chosen to live as a nomad, at least for now...and the foreseeable future. There's a mixture of delight and dread. You're okay with this.
Everyone you know will be settled down by the time you return--that is, if you do. They'd have made roots, and you, you'll be going with the flow; you'd get your direction from the wind. And though you know people will judge you for the so-called lack of your direction, that's the farthest from the truth. You know that you have direction, and it just so happens that it's to travel. You know the details will fill in themselves. You're okay with this.
So, as you hug your loved ones goodbye, you reminisce and already grow nostalgic for home. Because home is not a place, its the people. You can take comfort that you'd meet new people to call home. You're okay with this.
Your loved ones know you enough to let you go, and you love them all the more. You leave a piece of your heart with them, and in turn you take a piece of their heart with you. It doesn't hurt at all, because you don't think about the exchange as something sad. Instead, you're happy because they're a part of you forever. It is a privilege. You're okay with this.
You want your future so bad. You've grabbed it greedily, and if that means saying goodbye, that's okay. You're not just okay, you've finally bloomed.
There's Nothing Like You and I
She laughs, and you chuckle at the memories she's recounted. To be quite honest, you don't remember half of it, and some part of you is sad because of this. The coffee date continues, but something bubbles inside you can't place a finger on.
It isn't until days later, as you're out on your run, does it slam your gut. It was a goodbye, and you realized too late. Now, all you'll have are the half-remembered memories...
-Fin-
There's Nothing Like You and I by The Perishers
and bonus:
Thoughts in TL;DR:
Titles of the prose is juxtapose. Plethora of emotions on my part, but my mind is clear. I've got a future, and I realize that sometimes it means that not everyone I've known will be part of it. It's sad, but I'm okay with this. The worst place is to be overstaying your welcome, especially when it's in someone's life. I can't afford to develop emotional crutches.
Tangential: Lies by Evanescence, I didn't appreciate it as much before as I do now. Indeed there are a lot of lies we believe about ourselves which make us insecure. #liesItellmyself can be so true.
We would live in a loft; I would prepare breakfast, and you would gladly make tea.
A prayer for the day ahead, and a kiss goodbye. I'd be someone important at work, and so would you. We would live comfortably.
Then I realize, This is my dream. I realize--I don't even know you. You say you want to live out of the city. What? You say you don't drink caffeine-- Since when? You prefer hard labor instead of the officework. Okay.
I am jarred. I am repentant.
Confused. Did I take the time to know you? Were we on the same page? Did we have the same conversations? I'm blindsided, and so are you. What happened? Really, what happened?
You had another vision-- Another dream all together. Your personal values, Your mores, Your ethics, beautiful in their own right, are so different from mine. I didn't get to know you well enough. Yet, this isn't disappointing.
We are at a stall. Actually, there is no 'we'. There's you. There's me. Paths that were once parallel--
never really having converged,
and all the more diverging.
Thank you for being you. However, I still like what I see.
