My Body

When I woke up yesterday, I immediately thought of places to go and eat. Nice fancy places. But as I lay in bed and recounted the stuff I wanted to accomplish this year and --gasp!-- into my 30's I was like, "Nah, I'm going to climb some shiii!"

Climb I did.

There's a Brooklyn Boulders (Queensbridge location) on my commute to Evangel. At least on my subway (and walking) commute. I've really wanted to go since discovering it.

I've climbed rock walls before, a 35-foot wall with harness, and a few 5-foot walls bouldering, so it wasn't too new. But that was in my teens and early 20's. My physical and mental strength have changed.

As a kid, I didn't take care of my body, eating junk food--American and Filipino, and drinking soda to excess. I remember eating nothing but Watermelon Airheads one summer. That was stupid and dangerous, I realize now. I wasn't any better as a teen, I was sleep deprived 80%, cranky, and emotionally unstable. I had an eating disorder as well. I'd eat and eat and get it out...

I resolved to be kinder to my body in my 20's. That I did. I established a better relationship with sleep, food, and body.

People often say that the body "heads south" starting 30. That may be true, but I think that it's a good challenge to take up and maintain. I feel like I'm finally in this headspace where I am kind to my body. I don't want to keep abusing it because eventually, it won't be mine, well, not really.

Eventually, it will hold another life (or lives?) and will be a guardian and nourishment for these lives.

How does bouldering factor into it? Well, it's a novel experience. It's proof that my mind and body are stronger now. It's not where I want it to be, but small victories count.

I've got a vision for where I want to be as a person. I'm loving this little adventure already.



2 Corinthians 5:17

Time is an Ingredient

Probably why I happen to like Dominique Ansel Kitchen so much is because of the pathos of that specific branch. Dominique Ansel's Bakery is the birthplace of the Cronut, croissant-doughnut, and the chocolate chip cookie shot. The bakery is all about cutting edge desserts whilst the Kitchen, while also cooking up novel desserts, is all about time.

There are desserts that are completed upon ordering, for that "made to order" feel, whilst other desserts take days to complete. Like a good tres leches takes at least 2 days, Ansel's Tea-ramisu takes 48 hours to mature. My favorites, of course, are the tarts.

Past my preamble, time is an ingredient is so many aspects of our lives. It takes 9 months for human gestation--if the baby comes out too early its, often, very concerning, and if the baby doesn't come out and stays a bit (few days, weeks, even an extra month!) it, too, is a bit concerning. It often takes 2, 4, 6, 8, or 10, years to finish higher education. Someone doesn't get handed a Ph.D. or a Residency for just two years of study--I don't know if it's doable or possible, but it would be bloody exhausting.

I was just pondering about art and the time it takes to produce pieces. In history, there were artists who took months or years to finish a piece, having lulls in production. There were others who kept producing regularly, and within that body of work, Masterpieces would be recognized.

When I was in middle school, I remember a certain project that was assigned. Our class had to draw stuff and I remember I spent about an hour or so on the project. When we had to hand in our work, I saw a classmate's piece, and it was well made and very detailed. She looked at me and commented something to the effect, "it takes hours to make something, right?" I remember shrugging and replying, "Yeah, I guess so."

Something inside sparked, and soon after I spent sketching anything and everything. When I brought my sketchbook to school, I remember one of my classmates incredulous that my sketches got from line art to realism in such a quick time. "You traced this!", he was indignant. I put my hand over my sketch and I go, "the palm is too small for me to have 'traced' it!" I can laugh at the scene now, but I was so mad.

Anyway, I had lost quite a bit of time. But a good artist relies on skills, and I am excited to learn new skills. As a child, fine motor skills often elude, but being an adult, all I need is a bit of time. Thankfully, God has given me more than enough time. It's just about harnessing that time and not squandering it. Eep!

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Nah, I'm Good.

This morning, as I was on the bus to work, I was looking for tickets for my summer travel. I thought about visiting an old "friend". This friend and I had been in sporadic correspondence in the last ten years. Often, conversations are loaded or empty; there's no in between. Which is unfortunate because this person is brilliant in their own right-- we just can't end a conversation without some kind of emotional twist. Whatever.

Anyway, a quick thought flit through my mind: "I should visit". So engrossed was I in this endeavor that I was really ready to book my bus tickets. However--HOWEVER!--all of a sudden something clicked in mind.

"I'm good right here. Here and now... I am really good."

Perhaps this relationship just ends into nothingness. I'm totally okay with that.


On to other things, I haven't felt as light as I do today, in weeks. And quite possibly, months. Something just lifted yesterday evening. I feel so light.

Thank God for His mercy and grace. I feel so at peace when everything is so unsure.

Proverbs 3:5

Stay Woke

Referring back to the video I watched/listened two days ago by that artist, he expounded that we often take on bad habits. Likewise, it is often the bane of our existence to undo those bad habits, then re-learn new and better habits.

In one of my psychology classes, we read this book (written by the professor teaching the course) called, "Immunity to Change". Neurologically, the human brain is really good at keeping certain behaviors. Some behaviors, we have actively incorporated into our lives, and others we have passively incorporated by proximity to those we spend most time with. All this contributes to our immunity against changes.

Safe to say, I am not a proponent of coerced behavior modification.

Anyway, as I am going through this shift, I am taking stock--as I usually do--of my life and things that were added, and things that need to be taken out. I've already "weeded" out a small portion of my belongings. I think its time to get ruthless about it.

(That Marie Kondo book is looking mighty appealing, but I don't need any more books on the shelf for now!)

I'm currently listening to a sermon by Dharius Daniels, called "Stay Woke". It's nothing new, but being reminded is always great.

"It's one thing to want mind renewal, but it's another to be ready for the renewal."

Am I ready for revelation?

Details and Demarcation

As most of my followers on Instagram and friends on Facebook know, I am focusing on my art at the moment. I wanted to focus on music but I had to decide which one would be beneficial for me at present. Writing, too, has been put on the back burner--at least, posting my writing. I'm chugging along, daily, trying to write something.

I was listening to a successful artist speaking about talent and skill late last evening and he consolidated the nebulae of thoughts I had been ruminating the past few months. Too long and verbose to write here. Haha!

Anyway, I take comfort in knowing that I don't know much about art. I truly want to increase my skill because talent only takes me so far--like engenius and prodigious children, the other children catch up eventually. I will not depend on inspiration or muse(s) but simply do...and learn.

Today marks a shift in the way I do things. I hope you'll tune in for the adventure. My blog on WordPress will contain more artist musings and, dare I hope, artwork. 

Jude 1:24-25

Thinking about Cars

I spent the last few days watching a great number of YouTube electric car reviews. It's in the spirit of researching electronic vehicles and hybrids. It's utterly fascinating.

My previous post featured the Tesla Model X, however, today I was looking into the BMW iSeries. And honestly, as much as I love the MiniCooper (BMW owns them now...) and am excited for the hybrid coming out in the next few months, I've got to say the Bulldog looking BMW i3 looks adorkable.

Learning about electric cars are fascinating. The EV-car culture is quite new, and those entrenched in (regular ie. non-electronic) car culture seem to view EV's with a wary eye. However, I was doing the math on cost effectivity and it blew me away. EV car culture seems to have one revolving fear, at leat for the moment, and it's called the "range anxiety".

At the moment, range anxiety is a valid fear. However, I think with the public's acceptance of EV's, more stations and technologies will come. I was just discussing that in Queens, a variable black-hole--at least compared to the City--when it comes to EV charging stations, there are a few.

I hope my first car is an EV or at least a hybrid. I'd like for my first long-distance trip to go to New Orleans. Hello, beignets.

Proverbs 19:20-21

Short to Mid-range Goals, and Being A Steward of the Environment

Recently, I wrote a list of several things I wanted to accomplish within the next year, year and a half, two years, and five years. Some things include being financially free of all types of debt--consumer and educational. Then there are more personal things like weight and general wellbeing. Another thing I'd like to have within the short-range future is to get my Driver's Licence and get a car.

I still don't feel like I need it, living in NYC and all. However, the liberation and whimsy of road trips without taking the bloody bus--looking at you MegaBus--is edging toward the want. Having no private parking/driveway and to alternate parking regulations--the bane of anyone with a car in the city--does not excite me. AT. ALL.

Anyway, today, I've spent a great deal watching car reviews on YouTube. Namely, I was looking at Audi and Volvo SUV's. However, what piqued my interest was Tesla's Model X. 

As I sit watching Model X videos, I remember reading an article about "passive houses". Since Tesla's are known to be eco-friendly, I linked that to passive houses which are energy efficient. Basically, the house has minuscule heat and cold leakage. There'd be no need for heaters in the winter and air conditioners in the summer. I think this is cost effective for everyone in the long run, especially for the environment.

It dawned on me that I like this type of lifestyle. It is in line with what the Bible says about Man (humans, homo sapien sapien). Man is supposed to be a steward of the earth. However, we have grossly abused it. 

I'll continue to explore these thoughts. 

Image belongs to Tesla.com, Tesla Model X with its Falcon wings open. A bit ostentatious, but it goes well with me. I think its whimsy. Calling my Back to the Future peeps. 

Romans 8:22

NaNoWriMo - Prep and Plot

I just received my "No Plot? No Problem" book by Chris Baty, the founder of NaNoWriMo. Thank you, Amazon Prime. I'm quite pleased with what I've read thus far.

He talkes about the excitement that happens at the onset of the endeavor. Then the waning of the excitement, and by the last week it's an arduous endeavor. Thankfully, the novel doesn't have to be 100% done by means of plot or characterization, but rather, one can celebrate accomplishing at 50,000 words.

The way I've set it up is a series of vignettes, so each character contributes to the whole narrative. There will be plot holes, definitely, as vignettes don't warrant a continuous time line. But who knows?

The key here is to get to 50,000 words, and hopefully have a story worth telling. Then the revisions start. Here is where all the questions on plot, characterization, and over all style has to be settled.

I remember attempting all this before and I would waste time because I needed a certain detail to be right, correct, or real. However, Chris writes in his book that this whole exercise--marathon--is to get as much on paper/written, it's quantity over quality. Quality takes time, and that can happen after the month is over.

Here's to the next few days in mentally preparing for the challenge!

Habakuk 2:2

Wistful Thinking - Traveling, Tapas Bar Owner, Sommelier, Surf Shop Owner?

A few years ago, one of my godsister's and her husband (my godbrother by marriage), moved to Southern California. At the time I thought it was a peculiar move. Upon their move, I saw pictures on FB of wine tastings they would go to. I remember thinking that her wistful new life was interesting. However, I'm at the point in my life where I embrace the wistful ideas.

I remember when I first visited Europe with my dad, I fell in love with a few countries we passed through. I instantly fell in love with the nature of Norway. My father and I stayed in a town, Askim, about an hour and a half away from Oslo. The drive through the permafrost was lovely.

Next, I fell in love with Austria. The people were so welcoming and gentle. We were able to stay in Vienna and Linz.

Finally, I fell in love with Spain. Namely, I fell for the atmosphere of Barcelona. Since then, I have said that Barcelona felt like 99% of 100% to me--a place to settle down. That's saying something because NYC is 100/100, and Manila, where I'm from is 80/100 (blame the humidity).

Digressing, the dream I had was to live in Barcelona and open a tapas bar and art gallery. It would be a bohemian type of life. Eclectic and deliberate.

Anyway, today, as I attended an event at the Harvard Club of NYC, I felt a certain excitement. The event was a talk about the "sixth sense"--memory, and how Remy Martin Louis XIII Cognac evokes memories. With this, I fancied the thought of being a sommelier. That is something I'll think about further.

On the way home, I remembered this conversation I had with an old friend. We would set up a surf shop in Cebu, Philippines. My grandfather's family owns a small strip of land by an eco-reserve in their city. It would be eco-tourism at its best.

Tonight, though, I will think about the challenge next month. NaNoWriMo, here I come. I've gotten a few ideas for plot and the like. I'm super excited.

Genesis 27:27

Movies - My Love for Jane Austen

Amazon Prime is lovely. Even though I have two types of DVD's for Pride & Prejudice (starring Keira), P&P is on Amazon Prime Video. I've been rewatching it the last few days.

However, today I am watching Love & Friendship, based on Jane Austen's short story "Lady Susan". It's made by Amazon Productions -- Amazon has their own production company?! -- and it's quite delightful. It stars Kate Beckinsale as Lady Susan.

This spurred me to go on Amazon and wishlist a lot of regency era books--I do love period pieces! Finding something to read, especially when one enjoys the topic feeds inspiration. I love to read and write. It is a great comfort to just dive into another universe.

NaNoWriMo is fast approaching. I am not sure if I'll be participating, although I am in the best position to write this year than any other year before! Quite invigorating--the process of creating. 

Psalm 119:130

Skin - Face Masks part 2

Today, after church, I came home early. I watched one documentary and then realized I had some time for a face mask. I decided to try the Osmia Organics Protein Exfoliating Mask.

Upon opening the container, the powder is pink with flecks of brown. It is hand milled Azuki bean with a type of French clay. The texture is fine to moderately coarse.

I first measured 1/2 a teaspoon which is enough for the face (later, I measured another 1/2 for the neck). I mixed in a few drops of Frankincense essential oil and water.

The takeaway: I prefer this mask prepared thin, instead of thick, as it's harder to spread because of the fine-to-medium-coarse texture. The drying of the mask felt unpleasant as it almost stung. My skin wasn't turning red because of it, but it was uncomfortable. The acid peel (which this is) was working. Perhaps, I am not used to it.

Overall, it was okay. I'll give it a few more tries before I decide to return or whatever.

Psalms 34:5

Skin - Face Masks, all natural you can eat it (but don't)

Today arrived the past piece of the skin regime puzzle. I bought the E.L.F. Pore refining and brush tool. It was out of stock at the E.L.F. website, so I bought it at Ulta. However, it is also out of stock there.

I bought three (and a half, one was a sample) face masks, Odacite Synergie, Osmia Organics Protein with the Detox Face mask (sample size), and finally, the Herbivore Botanicals Blue Tansy mask. I've tried the Synergie mask and the Detox face mask (on my neck!) and I must say both are good thus far.

I'm not a "face mask type" person, but I thought to incorporate it into my routine. I look forward to the next application. I do like the Detox face mask from Osmia because the cacao scent is yummy. The exfoliation effect isn't too apparent, I think because it was on my neck. I'll try it on my face some other time.

Finally, I'm still looking for a nice toner. It's hard finding all natural stuff. I'm so frustrated that I may just make my own, which I don't really have qualms about.

Stay tuned!

Esther 2:12

Healthy, Slow, Minimalist Living

I think that the culture today is the exact opposite of the abovemebtioned. We are living an unhealthy, fast/busy, yet unproductive, over indulgent, malcontented lifestyles. And if anyone doesn't want to participate in that, they're branded as a "hippy", or "eco-snob".

Spiritually, I want to learn to be content, for contentment is a great gain. I want to be content with myself, my circumstances, my living, my posessions. I even want to venture out and say I want to learn to be more content with my relationships. I should be cultivating stronger bonds with people instead of seeking the next interesting person.

Hmm, all good things. Still haven't quite thought it through.

1 Timothy 6:6

Scent, Memories, and Fuzzy feelings

I think my obsession with scents began when I was around 8 or 10. There was a Rite Aid (pharmacy) by my old neighborhood that had a good selection of colognes and body sprays. Unlike other pharmacies, they had their selections open and not closed off behind a glass shelf.

I remember that my dad purchased me the Calgon - Turquois Seas spray. I practically bathed in it. Thereafter, I got CK One and Tommy Girl. In High School, I fell in love with Armani Emporio She. I also wore Dolche&Gabbana Light Blue, Dior J'Adore (mostly because my mom likes Dior and I'd use her's!), Armani Code Black, Demeter's Gin & Tonic (which is the cheaper version of Light Blue!). I particularly like Clean - Out of the Shower and Soap. I didn't care for the original scent.

I once purchased something from the UK and received a sample. I got Floris Cefiro and Fleur. So delicious...So bloody expensive.

My mainstay is definitely Emporio She. However, today, I may have found a new favorite! It's by Reiss, Black Oudh.

Funny story, I was touring our guest at the Oculus (train station/mall) by the World Trade. We passed through some shops and I had to stop. I thought the wafting scent was from a couple who passed by, but then I started to backtrack. The scent came from the shop.

I approached an unsuspecting sales associate. "What's that scent?!" He pointed toward the cashier, "It'll be there--Oud."

Another associate pointed to the bottle and I began playing with it. "It reminds me of this scent in a mall I went to in Dubai. I got off the escalator, and I was about 100 feet, and this powerful scent hits me." (to note, I was already smelling it two floors down!)

"Yeah, oudh is quite powerful. It's good this reminds you of it."

Indeed, the scent reminded me of a good time; of sunny skies, and perfect weather (LOL for that time. I am aware that Dubai is hell-hot thereafter!). I really did want to buy the Oudh there in Dubai, but then again, I didn't think my parents would appreciate me burning the wood at home. Haha.

I want to buy it. Right now I've got the sample paper tucked into my Bible. Yummy.


2 Corinthians 2:15-16

Thoughts After Church - Worshipping

I arrived at church late. It was half way into Worship when I settled in a seat. The first few songs I sang distractedly. Many thoughts were in mind.

There was this moment, where I repented for not focusing--for not being present. All of a sudden, I was able to worship. A great load came out of my mind and heart. It was freeing as well.

However, there was this other moment where I grew honest and scared. I realized that my life, in the grander scheme of things, is truly fleeting. I began to cry earnestly. I felt like, 'God, I've wasted so much time'. Also, thereafter that thought, 'what are the next 10, 20, 30 years if not but a bat of the eye.'

I remembered a sermon about Mary Magdalene who brought the Alabaster jar and anointed Christ's feet. Some scholars say that this jar with precious oils, costing much, was a nest-egg of sorts. She could have tucked it away for her future to sell or for her burial. But basically, it meant that she was giving her future--unknown, undefined, costly, and laying it at the feet of Jesus.

Amazingly, Jesus says to her detractors that her deed will forever be recorded wherever the Gospel is preached. So, in laying down her nest-egg, the only valuable tangible representation of her future at His feet, she gained so much more. Where she laid to rest her personal gain and glory at his feet, she, all of a sudden, is forever part of the glory and redemption of the Gospel.

I'm still ruminating what that means for me.

Matthew 26:13

Cleaning - part 2

In my last post, I talked about minimalist style and transforming my table/vanity into a work desk. It turned out harder than anticipated. After clearing the papers that had accumulated over the summer, among other things, namely change, receipts--I cleared space in my shelf to put my makeup tower.

What I was not prepared for was feeling unnerved that I was taking apart my "battle station", and moving it elsewhere. See, my makeup is organized in the Muji acrylic storage boxes. It is prominently displayed on my desk, next to the vanity lighted mirror. When I moved the tower onto the shelf beside it, I became aware of the empty.

I stared at that empty space for a good 20 minutes, trying to place a finger on why I felt vexed. It rattled me so much, I just went to bed. I slept quite late (or early in the morning), passing my bed time.

Anyway, feel that my desk is bare. But I am ready to accomplish great things. As I said previously, I always felt that if I let go of something, the energy otherwise used for that one thing can be transferred into something else. I feel that way with space--which is probably why I was so vexed about the empty space. I had spent such a great deal of money and time getting my battle station just right only to have to move it...

My vanity is now my workspace. It is the designated area to conduct work. It is a blank canvas used for productivity and efficiency. Yay!

Habakuk 2:2

Cleaning - minimalist lifestyle

One of my good friends and I have always admired the minimalist lifestyle. However, I don't exactly fit it in practice. I have a lot of stuff--I'm very blessed

Today has been about cleaning and clearing out my room. I envision a uncluttered area, but its an organized jigsaw right now. I am trying my best to keep things tidy.

I am making room on my desk/vanity for actual workspace. At the moment 2/3 of my desk is devoted to my makeup, which, while nice and organized leaves little room for paperwork.

I've got to shift things around in my shelf so I can move some make up there so it doesn't impede work flow. I've an office set up in mind, but I don't exactly want to put my makeup aside. I worked so hard earlier this year to get it all organized and tidy.

Here's to being 65% underway.

Philippians 4:12

Recalibrating

Yesterday, I was talking about focusing my energies. Today, begins implementation.

I spent the better part of the day preparing and finding reinforcements for the healthy habits I'm creating. This is about consistency after all. Exciting!

First phase, bed time. Second, phase, working hours. Third, phase diet. Fourth phase, workout. Final phase, repeat.

Also, I'm finding more creative ways of getting my business out there. Here's to more planning, development, and execution.

Psalms 37:7

Countdown to first fitness goal

Sigh, 29 days to my first fitness goal. Just being clear and envisioning it. I know I can focus!

This week has been hard with little sleep. Today, I'll try and sleep early. No more coffee or teas for me.

How bad do I want this goal? Badly. I've got to brainstorm how to get in more activity. I need to the change of weather, too.

All is well. I will sacrifice Instagramming during this time in order to focus on this goal. I always believe in loosing something to gain something.

Philippians 4:13

Wanderlust - Where It Began

Being Filipino, I always knew someone who was abroad. Growing up and having family come to visit with souvenirs was a treat. They would have plenty of stories about distant lands and different cultures.

In addition, I was raised around foreigners. In Makati, Philippines, I saw Westerners and Asians, since it was the city center of the country's capital. Also, since my dad was an Evangelist/pastor, he had support from missionaries, namely, South Korean ministries/missionaries.

When I came to the US, we lived in a very diverse neighborhood, and the schools I attended reflected the population. It was great growing up with all these influences, i count myself very blessed.

But really, it was my grandfather who was a sailor. He sailed all over the world with his crew at a time where most societies were still segregated. He would tell stories about African, European, and Asian port cities and their misadventures.

My dad, too travels often. Even at a young age, I knew he would go to the provinces in the Philippines. And as I was growing up in the US, he would go back to the Philippines every year for a month or so at a time.

When I was sixteen, he began traveling to Europe for extended stays, first for a few months at a time, then up to six months. His travels always brought home great news about the churches in Europe, and the great things God was doing there.

Because of the internet, I had (and obviously still have) the privilage of meeting interesting people from all over the world. That's how I got to meet my friends in Dubai and South Korea. It's fantastic!

Traveling to the Philippines in 2008, and then to 11 countries in Europe 2009, really solidified that lifestyle. It helped me grow and expand my philosophies. It also gave me a heart for overseas workers. But more on this topic another time.

Travel just runs in my blood. I loved cultures, art, food, and people. I love stories. I want to amass stories for my children and grandchildren because I know the world will be a different place then.

Acts 1:8