Hello, 2017 and Life Adjustments

It's been more than a month since my last post. Quite a few things have happened since then--you know, life.

Let me begin by saying that I did not get to finish my NaNoWriMo story which was disappointing. Mid-November I started teaching. December was challenging, as I had to learn to navigate the new position and other things. God was still in all of that because He allowed added responsibility--to liaise between school and program. Not too bad! I'm getting the hang of being a teacher.

As for the story, I spent a good while last week, looking at my notes and I fell in love with my characters all over again. I do want to write my story but I think I'll need a little more time to get their "lives" right. All I know is that I am besotted with Piero. Haha!


Healthwise, I was doing well after the Holidays. I didn't partake gluttonously of the Holiday meals. I lost weight, one and a half pant sizes to be precise. On the last week of December, I finally committed to a gym membership. It was a mind game, really. Thankfully my gym offered a complimentary Personal Trainer consultation. My trainer is kick-butt and we jive quite well. I lost two pant sizes by New Year!

For a person who had not stepped into a gym in 10 years--discounting the times I bought memberships but didn't go--I was so self-conscious. To note: I did go do Yoga intermittently in that decade, but I've given that up. Anyway, I got psyched-out the second week, but thankfully the youth at my church inspired me to go.

I got sick. Then went to Disney World with my cousins the first two weeks of January. I felt horrible last week. I felt heavy and weak, no energy at all yet terrible sleeping patterns. I hit the gym last Saturday and promised to go every day this week. I booked a 7 am session with my trainer just so I can be held accountable.

That accountability led me to push. Push past self-consciousness and feelings of inadequacies. To mind my self, my goals, and no one else. Thus far, I can see an improvement in my cardiovascular health. My running times are getting better, 24-minute mile in December, to 18:20 yesterday, and 13:53 today! WOOT WOOT! Here's to Shaklee Sports Nutrition for helping me!


Fortuitously, my pastor in Cambridge emailed about discipleship level 2. There was no thinking about it! An opportunity to grow deeper in Christ is a great life-investment. I am excited in this time of dedication. With a boatload of stuff going on around the world, I want to hunker down in Christ, my anchor, my rock. Otherwise, there would be no peace.


All this to say that there are more things in store for 2017. I'm so ready. There will be challenges, there will be lulls--life happens--but this year I'm taking and making it for myself and my God.

Colossians 4:2

On Healing - A Journey & Encouragement

Last year, about this time, I was hired full-time by my previous job. However, two weeks into training, I hurt my foot, specifically my toe, and couldn't walk. I was embarrassed and angry with myself.

While on medical leave, I was just angry and terrible to myself. I felt stupid, and frustrated that something so silly kept me from working. I was embarrassed because I had just started in that department. I kept praying for healing and was frustrated that it didn't happen instantaneously.

However, one evening, as I lounged with my foot propped up, I felt something inside. I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me. I felt my heart changing.

See, our body is the Temple of God; He resides within us, ready to commune with Him and do His work. However, we often neglect it too. I, in my frustration, was cursing my own body for not healing quickly. I was harboring negativity about the situation. The nudge of the Spirit caused me to see this.

If we are to speak life to others, we should speak life to ourselves. "Death and life is in the power of the tongue," Proverbs 18:21, so calling ourselves ugly, fat, worthless, and broken, is profaning the Temple of God. It is contrary to everything He has made us to be. 

So, at that point, I repented for the awful way I spoke to myself. I renounced all the anger inside. I renounced insecurity for good measure. Then, I spoke the promises of God. I am His righteousness. I am free. I am redeemed. I am healed. I am loved. I am accepted.

To this, I have learned to treat my body right. I try to get good quality sleep. I try to eat healthy. I try to exercise. I try to stay away from habits or actions that may cause old injuries to get agitated. However, I've got to move away from 'try' to 'do'. 

I challenge anyone reading: Repent for seemingly innocuous words/descriptions--"I'm fat", "I'm ugly", "I'm stupid", "I'm bad at...", "I don't know any better..." This is not who you are or who you're meant to be. You're meant to have an abundant life--and fat means you're abundantly blessed with food! Working out may be necessary, but you're blessed with sneakers to run, or money for a gym membership! Accept the fullness of His Grace in Jesus--accept that yes, we're not perfect, but we are unique for a purpose. Our experiences and lessons are nuggets of heaven to share with others.

God gives (multiple) second chances. He allows us to live life, and when we focus on this blessing; we see His goodness. We start seeing the grander plan. We see order from all the chaos of the past and present. We see a clearer vision of a better future.

James 1:17

The Dreamer - Keeping the indomitable spirit

In Middle School, my best friend once told me that her dad gave insight about her friends. He had mentioned specific characteristics about each one of us, there was five of us that (often) hung out together, but three were tight knit. I often revisit this insight.

He had said, "[J] is a dreamer. She has her head in the clouds, and sometimes she may need someone to keep her grounded." I remember receiving that insight negatively. Was it bad to have my head in the clouds? Was it bad that I'd need someone to bring me back to the ground? In hindsight, it was my insecurities as a tween that shaded this lovely insight negatively.

In reaction to that, I closed my heart up. I focused on being "logical", "linear", "intelligent"--thinking that being a "dreamer" wasn't intelligent! I would only focus my whimsical attributes in art or writing. I grew mean spirited because I thought I'd need to be acerbic and witty. It wasn't my best friend's dad's fault, it was my own--I'd made myself miserable by denying a part of me.

Fast forward to my young adult development: I did away with all that heaviness and darkness. Thank God. It was a process unfurling the negativity; stripping away the heaviness, and being true. I mean, I'm still sarcastic, and of course witty, but that's part of my winsome personality.

More recently, while working at my previous job, I felt all the more convicted to not let anyone else take my joy away. As part of my personal testimony, I must spread the joy and peace inside. I was saved from my own dark soul and mind, and replacing that was Grace from Jesus. 

Tangent: my salvation prayer was simple--"God, take away the darkness in my soul."

Digressing, at work, I loved to talk with people, and one coworker, specifically, enjoyed our talks. We were of like mind, academics stuck in corporate. We would banter; ponder statements, and talk about art and literature. One of the nicest things he said about me was, "...I like you, 'ya know? You've a touch of whimsy. We need that in this place." 

I've learned that this whimsy; that I, as a dreamer, need not keep it bottled up. Yes, it takes more energy to be ernest, honest, and happy. And yes, people can take that transparency as vulnerability--weakness, but it's not. It takes far greater courage to love forthrightly. It takes more courage to keep on dreaming. It takes creativity to learn how to navigate the broken world. 

I like art and literature. I like to listen to sad songs. I like to look at real estate postings for magnificent houses. I like to peruse the internet for First Class tickets to wherever. I like pretty things.

I love broken people. Broken people have such great potential. That's how God sees them, and that's how I choose to see them, too.

Hebrews 4:12